code of silence

A code of silence is a condition in effect when a person opts to withhold what is believed to be vital or important information voluntarily or involuntarily. The code of silence is usually either kept because of threat of force, or danger to oneself, or being branded as a traitor or an outcast within the… Read More code of silence

another episode

I had another “episode” on Saturday. It was pretty bad. I punched myself in the belly/uterus very hard several times, and slammed my head into the wall. It left a nice lump on my forehead. I went for a walk after, and Jim followed behind me because he was afraid I would do something crazy.… Read More another episode

am I crazy?

During my carpal tunnel surgery,I felt like Jesus on the cross, getting my palms sliced open. I was wide awake and draped so I couldn’t see anything. I practiced deep breathing and concentrated on thinking of Grace to avoid a panic attack. It worked but it was fucking creepy to be awake and feel blood… Read More am I crazy?

letters to Grace

Dear Grace,                                                                                                 1/04/13 Oh my sweet baby girl, momma misses you so much! My heart hurts for you, my arms ache for you and my breasts are leaking milk for you. I am so sorry we lost you. It’s so unfair that we never got to be together. I wanted you for so long, ever… Read More letters to Grace