it’s hard

12373226_10153524376807771_1768048236851201438_nThis shit is so fucking hard! I’ve started going through and getting rid of some baby stuff. What I couldn’t donate to Goodwill I asked my inlaws to donate to their church or something-but they hung on to it. They think we will change our minds or get pregnant without planning it.

This is honestly the first time I’ve ever seen the crib like this. In my last trimester, I never really put the bedding on it because I intended for her to sleep in her pack n play in our room. I figured it would be easier because I intended to nurse her.

When we came home from the hospital without her, one of the first things I did was shove that pack n play into her room. But first I had to find a home for the blankets, diapers, wipes, etc that were inside it.

Just thinking about that day sends a shiver down my spine and makes my heart drop into my belly.

I pretty much just shoved everything into the crib, and it stayed that way for a long time.

With Grace’s third birthday less than 3 weeks away, I think I want to set the crib up with the bedding. Make it look like a real crib. Fill it with all of our stuffed animals we’ve collected. Take photos.


That’s the only plan we have so far for her birthday.


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