Grace turns 2

December is over, and we somehow survived it. Christmas was lovely; we spent it with Jim’s family and received many gifts. Including a laptop-now I have no reason to ever leave my bed again.

We ended up spending Grace’s birthday and New Years with my mom and some friends. We actually had a pretty good time. We lit a candle for Grace and let it burn in the window all night. New Years we toasted at midnight with a little champagne.

My grief still has the power to knock the wind out of me and pull me under it’s huge waves.

I cry because Grace is supposed to be here, turning 2, and she’s not. I should have a sweet toddler full of life and giggles; instead I have a heart shaped urn of ashes.

Sometimes it hurts so bad I can’t breathe. Or move. Sometimes I wish for an end to the pain.

Jim is my salvation. He wraps me in love and makes everything all right. And we find strength in each other.

Happy Birthday Grace! WE LOVE YOU

7monthsbelly

the best pic
the best pic
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