dear grace

Dear Grace,

I miss you so much baby girl!!!!I think about you every single day…I find myself wondering what you would look like now. You would be almost 20 months today…walking and talking…what would your first word be? what would your laugh sound like? would you have blond hair like when I was small or dark hair like daddy? what kind of personality would you have?

Some days I can’t even wrap my head around living a life without you. We’re supposed to be consumed with raising you; instead we are trying to fill up the silence of your absence. We should be sleep deprived and happy; instead we sleep forever and feel lost.

I haven’t seen any signs from you or sensed your presence in a while. I used to feel like you were always with me but lately I haven’t.

Daddy and I have realized what a negative emotional effect our apartment has on us. We feel amazing the minute we leave but when we return the bad feeling does too. This place is supposed to be your home, but it’s not; this is where you died and we don’t want to live here anymore.

I wish I could go back in time and save you! then you would be here and I would feel whole again. I’m your mother. You’re my daughter. A piece of me is missing and I will never be the same.

I love you so much Grace. I would give anything to be with you. Daddy and I have each other to lean on but we miss you every day.

Someday we may give you a sibling but not until we make a new home somewhere else.

I don’t believe in god but I know wherever you are, your grandpa Ray is with you. You’re both young and beautiful and he takes care of you.

Come see me in my dreams baby, I’ll meet you there ❤

 

Always and Forever,

Momma

 

 

 

 

 

 

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