This summer has been disappointing in more ways than one. We really wanted to move to Minneapolis when our lease ended this month but we were unable to find a new place in time. So we had to sign another 12 month lease here. Ugh. I hate this apartment! Grace died here and I want to move. I hate this town! It literally smells like shit here cause of all the surrounding farms. It’s fucking gross. There is nothing to do here. We get cabin fever a lot and we definitely don’t get out as much as we would like.
My relationship with the inlaws is strained at best….
I miss my friends and none of them have come to visit me since I moved here. I don’t blame them; I’m 80 to 100 miles away, depending. Still, it would be nice if they could make the effort.
After much discussion we have come up with a new plan. We are going to move to the cities next summer when the lease is up. Then we are going to give ourselves a year to adjust and enjoy our new place. So we probably won’t even be trying to get pregnant until 2016.
How do I feel about this?? Ummm….I hate this plan. No I like this plan. I need a new baby now. No, I can wait. Ugh…..
Every time I see a baby it just hurts me so much. I can’t deal. Friends and family are expecting and I can’t help but feel jealous and resentful.
At this moment I just feel like……FML.