with family like mine, who needs enemies?

A few days ago I wrote a post titled Fighting For My Mental Health. I talked briefly about my past and some of the things I have experienced.
It was very tasteful, I chose my words carefully and didn’t tell anyone’s story but my own.

Well I am now persona non grata in my family. My mom called me while I was in a store and on my way to my friend’s wedding reception. She left a scathing voice mail saying that 3 people had called her about my Facebook. She said she wasn’t going to waste her time coming to visit me (we were planning for her and some of my friends to visit the day before Mother’s Day) since I decided to “stab her”. My mom doesn’t even have a computer so someone apparently went out of their way to call her and read the post to her.

I guess I’m in trouble for breaking the Code Of Silence.

If you don’t talk about, it never really happened, right?

If I wanted to hurt my mother with these things I would’ve called her myself and told her. Instead I chose to write in my blog about my traumas as part of my journey towards healing, because I find it very cathartic to say what happened to me out loud.

I am so heart broken right now. I have cried many tears the past few days as this is weighing heavily on me. My mom and I have been diligently working on our relationship. She has been very supportive (up until now) since Grace died. I love my family very much and never intended for anyone to get hurt. But this is my blog, focused on healing, not only from Grace’s death but from all my emotional pain.

I started this blog with the intention of being painfully honest, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I could help someone. Someone like me.

I am not taking it down, I am not apologizing, and I will continue to write the truth. I did nothing wrong.

If you don’t like what I write, don’t read it. End of story.

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8 thoughts on “with family like mine, who needs enemies?

  1. I’ve just back spaced over three replys already. I don’t want to piss off your mom! Keep writing, keep healing, and mostly keep those that show you love and kindness close.

  2. You are not alone. A few years ago I broke the code of silence, and spoke my truth and my familial relationships have never been the same. My mother continues with her denial in spite of any and all evidence – But I live in the light of the love from my husband, kids and true friends – not in fear or shame or guilt. It’s a hard process, filled with ups and downs but once you are on the other side, there’s no going back. It’s a beautiful thing: respecting and loving yourself enough. More power to you.

    1. that is nice to know! that I’m not alone; I have to say it’s getting worse too. I’m about to write a post focusing on my family again. thank you so much for your kind words.

  3. I spoke out about my life growing up with my family…now I have been dis-owned and have been told by a couple of my nieces that they were told I was not yo be remembered. I have had no contact with my immediate family for 30 yrs. Now a lot my my nieces don’t speak to me anymore…why?? Don’t know…

    Been told by friends they are being told I’m a liar and no good…for speaking the truth…oh well their loss!

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